Ten things they don’t tell you about motherhood…

As-Salaamu Alaikum
Peace Be Upon You

I feel like there’s always something to add to this post, hence why it’s taken me some time to post it out. There’s always something new to share or something crazy you learn. Motherhood is one of the wildest adjustment you’ll make to your life so here are 10 things I was never told about motherhood…

When looking for a picture to set the tone of this post I realised I don’t take enough candid photos of me and my boy together – it’s usually pics of him and his dad, with others, or just of himself. I’m too busy looking like a bum to even think about getting involved, so that’s why you’ve got a photo of little ol’ me. Moral of the story: GET INVOLVED, get taking those photos and capture those memories coz I know I damn well I would want to reminisce about them later on.

In no particular order let’s get started on the ten things they don’t honestly tell you about motherhood…

1) DRY HANDS.

// You wash your hands after every nappy change, before every feed and then for your own needs – it’s constant wash wash wash, dry dry dry. Don’t even get me started on the chore that is sterilising bottles 😒 but it’s safe to say I’ve developed the most aged hands around town and it looks sad. I’m at a point where I’m like is there really any point to moisturising if it’s going to get washed off in five minutes? The answer is no. BUT if I don’t moisturise it my hand gets super cracked and bleeds and that’s not pretty to look at either.

2) 10 NEEDLES.

// When you have a cesarean everyone forgets to tell you the part where you have to self-inflict yourself for ten days with jabs. Yes, it’s there to prevent blood clots but boy did that hurt! I personally felt a burning sensation every time I got injected and it was a time of day that I dreaded so much.

3) WEIGHT.

// I don’t know what magical human out there exists but nooooo it doesn’t drop off anytime soon and nooo there is no time to go to the gym. I’m loosing out on £15.99 per month on a subscription which I never use. 😭😭 (DW, I’ve cancelled this now 6 months later).

4) LONELINESS.

// Motherhood brings out a sense of loneliness which I never really expected. Even though there are people around you it’s not the same. The nights are the worst because there really is no one else you can call upon. I mean realistically how many times a night are you gonna bother someone? (Please note this feeling does get suppressed over time when bubba starts sleeping longer) 😅. On a side note I think it’s important to note that Isa’s daddy works nights hence maybe why that feeling felt stronger? But either way it’s there, I’ve spoken to other new moms who have experienced the same helpless lonely feeling.

5) DEPENDANT COMFORTERS.

// I know as a parent you are responsible for the upbringing of your child. Which is great it’s the literal definition of a parent – to love and care for your little one. I never realised just how dependent the little critters are. Soooo clingy. From a cute morning hug to a temper tantrum cuddle who wants to be rocked and patted to sleep… but oh no, wait for it.. you can’t sit whilst you do it… you need to stand up!!! Can someone explain this logic and crazy science to me, please????! Why and how do babies realise we are standing as opposed to sitting? Like I’m doing the same motion. I would be able to get loads more done if only he was content with what he’s doing without me sitting there holding him or staring at him. 😴 < that’s me exhausted and no this feeling will never pass for the next 18 years (or so I’ve been told 🤪).

6) FIGHTING SLEEP.

// If you’re tired, sleeeeep!! They fight sleep and I don’t know why. I thought if they’re tired you rock them one, two, three boom 💥 they’re down and gone. I’ve spent countless of hours rocking Isa to bed and before you know it it’s time for a new feed and nappy change – and guess what the boy never slept. Yet he’s literally moaning and crying to sleep. Those initial first months were hard, but don’t worry now that he’s 8 months old I’ve got him figured out to a T.

7) NECESSITIES.

// Don’t buy shit – from clothes to useless shit and gimmicky things. Don’t get sucked into it – don’t forget this is a consumerist society everything is made with the intent to sell sell sell! Save your pennies. Wait for your baby shower, wait for people to come by with gifts when the bubba is born because you don’t know what’s coming. In our family we all chip in for the various bits and bobs a baby needs because they do come at an expense. For example, one member will buy the cot, another the pram, another the bouncer etcetera… basically a registry? Of course don’t rely on anyone but in all honesty, you don’t need anything in the first three months except 0-3 months clothes, nappies, bottles, sterilisers, food and YOU. All they need is lots of warmth, love and cuddles from you.

Oh please note; the baby season rotates every 3 months or so. Take your time when making a big purchase. No doubt it’ll go on sale at some point. When one store has a baby sale they ALL go on sale – it’s what makes a competitive market. Having said that – make every opportunity of First Time Shop vouchers and mailing lists because when you sign up no doubt you’ll be emailed with a discount code too.

8) RELATIONSHIPS.

// The dynamics change – what I didn’t expect is all the disagreement that follows. You don’t realise as an individual how selfish you are as a person and in relationships. See that changes when you have a baby because it’s no longer about the two of you, your sole purpose for those initial couple of months is to focus solely on the baby. The early stages of parenthood are tough because you are the sole carers for this fragile beautiful being that you need to nurture and strengthen. Just be 1000% confident in your relationship with your partner before having a child – just make sure you’re both on the right page that way you’ll be able to overcome any hurdles that come your way.

9) HIPS AND HEELS.

// Nobody mentioned to me that after a baby wearing heels like I was 18 is no longer possible. I remember the days where I would wear heels at 6:30am and trot into London to uni and be back home by 7:30pm in heels no problem. What I realised at my cousin’s wedding is that I can’t last bloody one hour in them 😩😭😭 no joke my hip joints felt like they got stuck.

10) LATCHING.

// Prior to having Isa I never gave breastfeeding much thought, it was a natural action and bond between mother and child – yet it was one that I didn’t realise was quite difficult to master. I presumed babies automatically attached to the boob and knew what to do and the milk would just flow. Oh no my fellow readers that’s not the case, well not for me anyways. I had such a difficult time getting Isa to latch on it just ruined the whole breastfeeding experience for me and I ultimately failed. What’s supposed to be a really natural and seemingly easy experience – just wasn’t the case. It definitely made me more “depressed-like” post-pregnancy as the stress and importance of it weighed heavy on me.

I do hope you enjoyed reading this post, if you would like read all my mommy parenting style posts please search “parenthood” in my blog search bar on the right. && if there’s anything you’d like to know or have any suggestions for me don’t be afraid to get in touch and let me know.

I would love to know as a new parent what shocked you the most, or you felt in the lurk about? Feel free to comment below – Until my next post xoxo

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