LIFE // Ramadan Journal 2018 (1/3)

As-Salaamu Alaikum
Peace Be Upon You

I thought I’d publically journal my Ramadan moments and feelings to see how I grow, evolve and if not learn from this blessed month, If I can leave this month with good habits (spiritually, praying, mentally and soulfully) then I’ll say mission accomplished. As nice as vlogs are too watch back on, I feel as though vlogging would take up too much time and effort and I really can’t afford to do that right now (time-wise). Last year I didn’t fast as I was pregnant so I was really anticipating this year and was concerned, if not slightly scared of the 19/18 hour long fasts that await me. I intend to split this journal into three segments and share them ten days at a time, as otherwise, it may end up being too long to share in one post.

– O N E –
The first day of Ramadan went splendidly well, went by much easier than I anticipated considering the UK is one of the longest hours (18/19) to keep their fasts. It was a simple day and one that I broke alone at home as my partner was working. I broke my fast with a simple meal of 3 dates, water, 2 chappatis and chickpea curry. I’m going to try and eat less meat this month too, see if I can switch up my diet to include more vegan and dairy-free alternatives. I wish to make these dietary choices to better my health and I feel like Ramadan is the perfect way for me to cleanse my body as well as my soul.

I found that I got irritable towards the end of the fast as I was concerned about breaking my fast late as I was tending to Isa who was having a bit of a meltdown. He’s just so ill at the moment, no doubt from the sudden changes in weather – and his bedtime is usually around 9/10. So I was eager to get him to bed so I can eat and pray in peace. It didn’t quite go as planned and ate as the little man played/ ate with me.

In terms of self-control, what I tried to focus on was to think before I spoke and really control my anger. I’m confident by the end of the night we had a positive change. Throughout Ramadan, I’m trying to be more self-aware so I can leave Ramadan as a much more appreciative and controlled person.
– T W O –
Last night I wasn’t feeling my best so I stayed round my moms and completed sehri there. When I woke up, I wasn’t feeling my best and felt super ill causing me to sleep quite a bit throughout the day and when I woke up I had the most splitting headache and felt super weak, I was really close to wanting to break my fast but I didn’t. I pulled on through and Alhamdulillah was able to complete another day of fast. When staying round my mom’s I couldn’t resist her food so it’s with regret I mention I ate fried foods of chicken nuggets and samosas! – Just goes to show how weak my self-restraint it (a work in progress for sure!).

Self-control & awareness// I realised I was very calm yesterday and I was aware of my surroundings really forcing myself to be in the moment, with my son and off my phone. Reading with him and praying with him. Something you all should know about me is that occasionally I can be quite ditzy and mindless, thinking about nothing and just blindly letting time pass by, I never realised just how idly I’d let moments pass and allow frivolous sh!t get in the way. Being awoke of your surroundings (not just your day-to-day life) but the world around us is so important. It’s no longer okay to be ignorant and mindless, especially when we live in an age where information can be found at our fingertips. I’ve realised if I’m not informed I can’t be the best mom and raise my son in a manner which matters to the world. We’re living in world which is nearing an end, and throughout my journey here I wish to be able to help people, if not physically or through my actions, then at least vocally. With that said, I stand with Palestine.

C O M I N G S O O N

– T H R E E –

– F O U R –

– F I V E –

– S I X –

– S E V E N –

– E I G H T –

– N I N E –

– T E N –

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yazmiinaktar@gmail.com

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