LIFE // The B I R T H

As-Salaamu Alaikum
Peace Be Upon You

This post is a continuation of a post of three that I am sharing about my pregnancy and birth experience with Isa Mikaeel:

  1. T H E P R E G N A N C Y – [Here]
  2. T H E  B I R T H – [Live]
  3. T H E  S U R P R I S E – [Pending]

No amount of birth stories will prepare you for your own birth. It doesn’t matter how many experiences you read or how many youtube videos or episodes of one born every minute you watch – you simply won’t be ready for your own. Well not for your first birth anyways because you genuinely don’t know what to expect, your mind will constantly race as you worry yourself that you will be that one awkward statistic that “get’s it“. The only outcome at that the end of the birthing experiencing that’s guaranteed is that the baby comes out of your uterus whether natural or c-sectioned. However, it is reassuring to know how others went through the process and coped. What is that they done that helped, could have done different and what you can learn from their experience to ease your own.

D i s c l a i m e r: Now before I begin my story, I want to stress everybody’s body is different, reacts differently and is able to tolerate different levels of pain. Do what works for you, there is no right or wrong. I am simply sharing my personal feelings and experience, I’m sure certain events of what I say, my OH remembers differently,  haha. FYI he was the only person there the entire time 🥰

—–

In my previous post, you’ll know I had gestational diabetes, now that automatically puts you in the consultant care led unit as opposed to the usual maternity ward run majority by the nurses. It also meant that it was a risk if my baby was overdue for too long, or at least that’s what they told me. My original due date was 03.08.17, so I was considered 5 days overdue.

The consultant who was monitoring me said she would prefer it if I was induced and gave me a quick sweep in the meantime to see if that encourages natural labour. I was already experiencing contractions and was dilated for 1 – 2 cm for a couple of days. I thought they were braxton hicks but it turns out I genuinely was dilating but ever sooooooo slowly. Regardless to say, the sweep didn’t have much of an effect on me, so I continued to wait out for the call.

Now at the time, I did not know induction was optional and that I could have declined and actually waited for my waters to break and labour to induce naturally (which is what I would have preferred). But as an individual who’s grown up fearing authoritative figures, I just accepted what she said as if I didn’t have a choice and that I assumed she knew what’s best for me and went with her advice. Now, what you have to remember is that hospitals (especially maternity wings) are businesses and their priority is to get these patients in and out safely, get the babies delivered safely and free up the beds for the next person waiting in the queue.

Anyways, I accepted what she told me and she explained how the call back works for the induction and that the hospital will call me in the morning to let me know what time to come in. I got that very call on 07.08.17 saying that a bed was free and I should be there for a 5pm induction. I had my hospital bag prepped and ready three weeks in advance and had a separate bag ready with snacks which I ordered a couple of days prior from Ocado. Now I’m a heavy snacker so I made sure to make A L O T of space in my small luggage for snacks. We got ready, locked up and drove 30 mins away to our local hospital where I was booked in.

I went in, was provided a bed in a wing of 8 I believe, and the nurses came in and out, gave me another sweep (no luck), continued to do their checks and once ready, at approx 6pm they popped in a pessary (it’s a drug, that looks like a tampon, that’s inserted vaginally to onset labour). I did not think this little tablet would screw me over so quickly and painfully as it did but boy did that thing kick in within 1 hour of being inserted.

Straight away I got the most bizarre cramps and my body would get tense, for me at the time it was overbearing and I couldn’t help but moan in pain. I remember constantly feeling terrible for the people around me who were silent in their cubicles and I was also confused as to why they all were seemingly “okay”. As the night went on the pain intensified, the ladies around me tried to sleep and I couldn’t shut up. I would take walks in the corridor and go and sit in the main seating area, away for the other ladies to let them get some rest. But even sitting down was problematic because the contractions were so tense down there, it felt like someone was stretching it open with clamps forcibly – it was uncomfortable to sit on a chair or a ball.

Around 10pm I was offered a bath to see if it will help relax me, I accepted but it was such a large tub it took forever to get together. Once in, I relaxed instantly. But it was short lived because after 15 mins I was struggling again! I tried to ride out most the pain in the water and got out until I was cold. Oh my goodness, getting out of a bathtub was another story, as heavy as I was I found it super hard to get up and as I was stepping out I experienced the mother of all contractions, thank goodness my OH was there to hold/ support me out.

I was urged to get some rest by the nurses because they could tell this was going to be a long night, so they hit me up with some drug (I can’t remember the name, but it’s not morphine,  which helped but they were only allowed to offer a limited number of dosages) and then I did my best to sleep. Throughout the night I was constantly checked upon and as it got into the early hours I can hear the distress in their voices, they weren’t telling me what was up directly but kept coming in for checks. Eventually, I was told the heartbeat of my LO kept dropping. The tears streamed down quick. You spend so long nurturing and growing a baby you don’t realise how complicated the actual delivery and labour is.

I was then moved into a room of my own downstairs because they needed to prep me for surgery at about 2am. I asked for all the pain relief available, finally got my gas and air, which was fun but made me throw up like crazy. When I say fun.. all it did was shift the focus of my mind off the pain and on to something else. So although I could feel the contractions my mind was not focused on the pain – so the experience was bearable and at this stage in the night, very much appreciated. My OH was concerned that I kept throwing up so much, despite barely eating anything, he eventually refused to give me the gas and air… boy best believe I was mad! He just didn’t get what it was doing for me! It really was a relief.

I was denied morphine because I was advised this would affect the baby and already his heart beat was dipping in and out they didn’t want to risk it, because the baby would feel the morphine but suggested epidural instead. I didn’t think I would need epidural but after such a tense night you accept any help given. Later one of the Doctors swung by to check up on me and suggested I take two saline drip bags and get my body rehydrated. This seemed to help the baby relax and calm down so they held off the caesarean.

At this point my waters didn’t break yet so another doctor came by and stuck a blue rod with a hook attached to puncture me, it was such an uncomfortable experience the way she just got up in there. She then said she didn’t think she broke my waters so went back up to try again 😭😩. Me all drugged up, failed to mumble to her that she did actually break my water the first time. This particular doctor was an absolute b!tch with her commentary and I remember the way she spoke down to me, it wasn’t nice, and she said I don’t think you can handle pain so I suggest you take epidural. I mean I’m all for the drugs and pain relief and I wanted it quick, but daymmm I know it’s 3 am! No need to be a cow.

It was hours before I actually got my epidural because there was only one anaesthetise on shift. I think eventually I got it at 6am. They get you to sit on the edge of the bed, back straight but shoulders relaxed??? And you cannot be in the middle of contraction when having one. I was so confused with the experience, with all the instructions and the pain. I genuinely wanted to thump someone. The anger I felt in my head was not shown because my body was so weak to respond and match my feelings lol. Epidural was the best relief I had, after a stressful night I eventually knocked out and slept feeling absolutely nothing and not remembering a thing – which is a good thing because I felt nothing but also a bad thing coz I felt nothing.

Throughout the following morning (08.08.17), whilst I was sleeping the nurses would come in and out and check on me and do their readings. I was so zonked out I never noticed them except sometime after 1pm when they were a bit more frequent and kept waking me up and asking me to move around, move to the left and right and back and forth. They asked if I could feel the baby, advised I couldn’t feel anything since epidural. My OH already knew there was an issue straight away. Me dazed and confused, was lost.

The nurse disappears and reappears with a doctor, they do more checks and warn me that they will push a button now and several people will run in because they couldn’t find the babies heartbeat for awhile now and need to get me in for an emergency c-section NOW. Boom next thing you know the room is full of 10-15 people some who are there with reasons, others were students? I don’t even know, I didn’t even have time to care or process it all. Next thing I know I’m being rolled out, laid flat, and hauled onto a metal operating table, lights bright and I’m freezing cold.

All I remember screaming was “don’t cut me until I’m numb! My aunty felt you cutting her, she wasn’t readyyyy” LOL. Honestly I was sooo scared. The lady operating was nice, she waited until I was numb and kept prodding me to ensure I was okay and helped calm me down before going in. Overall the whole process was kind of quick, in relation to the type of operation they were performing.. I remember feeling constantly winded as if someone had punch me in the chest bone several times. The entire time my OH was by my side holding my hands, bless him he was so concerned with me he didn’t even check up on the baby.. I urged him to go over and I looked up behind me and saw my baby for the first time.

For some reason, I don’t really remember much afterwards. All I remember was waking back up in the same room again, but this time with a baby sleeping in the cot and what felt like a giant, stiff maternity pad over my wound lol.

It was official. I was a mom. I asked to hold my baby and took the most awkward selfies ever LOL. After a couple of hours,  I was moved across to the recovery wing and spent a 2 nights there before I was released on our own to deal with our baby. Our Isa Mikaeel.

say MA SHA ALLAH – Allah huma Barik Lahu

I know this was a lengthy post, but I do hope that you have enjoyed reading about my experience so far. Feel free to share any questions on what you’d like to hear about next. I’m more than happy to share on everything I can remember.

Don’t forget, I have one more post in this trilogy upcoming and that’s the S U R P R I S E. I promise I will not delay in getting this post out next week! 🙂

Until my next post xoxo

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yazmiinaktar@gmail.com

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