LIFE // Pregnancy: 29 Weeks

As-Salaamu Alaikum
Peace Be Upon You

&& there we have it. Another cheeky, simple but awkward pregnancy selfie.

Current status: 29 weeks pregnant and super tired.

Biscuit queen.
Throughout my entire pregnancy all I have wanted and was ever satisfied by was biscuits and not just any kind mind you, it’s those Bengali biscuits – rusks and sugared toasts. They’re so satisfying and yummy especially dunked in masala chai. Every bite is savoured! You get that initial crunch and the rest just melts away *drool*. I go through them so quickly that when I run out, I’m semi-satisfied with a creamy, shortbread.

Cravings aside, this week, the LO has been ACTIVE especially at 1am. Throughout the whole day there’s minimal movement but as it gets close to midnight, my stomach is bulging in all sorts of areas. I wish I was more poetic with my words, but sadly, I’m not. However, that does not mean I don’t cherish every beautiful movement, experience and feeling that pregnancy has to offer.

With that said, pregnancy insomnia is very real right about now. The other night once Isa went down to bed I was up cooking, cleaning, mopping, laundry, and sorting out my makeup. YES! Sorting out my makeup. I sat there at 3 am going, WTH am I doing and what did I just start, but it was a job that needed doing so my crazy ass just went for it. Bare in mind, I had work at 9am so needed to be up by 7am. My body was exhausted and tired but my mind was telling me Nooooo! Lol – for some reason I just had to find silly things to clean. It’s my fourth day running now where I’m just sat up at crazy o’clock despite the fact that I’ve been up since 7am! I’m getting concerned as to how I’m getting through the day haha. Is this a sign of nesting? Surely it’s too early.

Heartburns are still an issue and I haven’t given delivery much thought this week. But I have been thinking about Isa and the amount of attention he will receive once baby arrives  – wondering what his reaction to the new arrival will be. Alhamdulilah, he’s a good kid in general, so I really shouldn’t be concerned over this non-issue, but I can’t help but think about it. I feel a little guilty that it’s not going to be me and him for long and that a plus one will soon be joining us soon. As I said, he’s an amazing child and he loves other kids and babies so I’m confident he will adjust well, he has a very caring and nurturing aurora about him.

Throughout this pregnancy my teeth have been super sensitive, so this week I have booked in a dentist appointment for two weeks time from now, as that’s the earliest I’m available to go. I know pregnancy affects your teeth and nutrients but boy are my teeth super sensitive atm.

Anyways I’ll keep you updated on my journey as I go along, so feel free to check back here every now and again!

Oh and Ramadan Mubarak Everyone! I pray Allah grants all your dua’s and provides you with his mercy, love and forgiveness.

Until my next post xoxo

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Thursday Thoughts || Death, are we ready?

There’s been a recent death in the family, and it has shaken me more than ever. It is another reminder from our creator that this world is temporary. It’s not ours. What have we done to please the Lord. What have I done?
I’m not going to lie, my relationship with my Lord hasn’t been easy and it’s probably been very weak and right now it’s the weakest I’ve ever let it get to. Sometimes I look outwardly on my life stuck in a cardboard box to motionless to do anything. It’s a frightening and numbing feeling.

Where you can see all your actions yet you’re frozen and can’t do anything to change those actions. I’ve let my life go down this path. This was the most sudden if not hardest wake up I’ve dealt with.

I’m not the kind of person who knows how to deal with death, I’ve not dealt with it before. I don’t know what to do and how to act. I don’t even know how to be there for people in this time of need. I just feel motionless and frozen, like a passerby just looking on out through the window, standing, staring, not moving, not doing anything.

We should never wait for a situation like this to be our wake up call. We need to find our Lord and have him in our hearts. Remember him. Thank him. Repent to him. Ask for forgiveness and mercy. If there’s ever a time in my life that I needed the Lord, it would be now. I’ve never feared life so much before, and death. It’s a horrible feeling that’s got me thinking into the late nights that’s for sure.

Going to finish this post with a quick story, not 100% sure if it’s true as it’s one of them viral stories- but definitely something to think about nonetheless:

“This is a true incident, shared originally by Imran Shahid who also provided the translation One of the graveyards in Saudi Arabia was closed for 30 years. It was eventually decided to purge it to the ground level. Government gave permission to do so and found a company to execute the desired task. The company commenced the operations. During the work, they found/experienced nothing except rotten bones and odour around the area. Whilst shovelling, the workers felt amazing fragrance which was emanating from one of the graves instead of rotten smell. The staff members relayed this incident to the company and Company then communicated this with the relevant authorities. The work was stopped until further notice. When all authorities gathered together, the work was resumed and, whilst digging, they experienced the soil was very soft and filled with musk fragrance. Thereafter, they found a dead body in there, the shroud of it was exactly the same as it was put in the grave years ago. Upon investigation this further through the records, they found out that the dead body was buried almost 30 years ago. Anyhow the dead body was taken out, the face of it was as fresh and radiant as if the person would have died just now. The people from his village recognised the dead body and told people who’s son he was. The person (father) was too old to walk to the Cemetery and hence for this reason the dead body was taken to his house. Father was shown the face of his son and he expressed his gratitude to Allaah SWT and said the funeral was taken from this house thirty years ago and O Allaah this has now been returned to this house after thirty years in the same condition. All praises due to you O’ Allah that I was shown my son’s face again. He kept weeping, the sight got everyone around shedding tears too. Upon father’s approval, the body was buried in another Cemetery Father was then asked that what did your son use to do. What were his deeds? Father answered, my son used to love Allaah so much that he used to pray in the first row in the mosque always. There was not a single morning when I went to wake him up for Fajjar and he was not up already. He used to often go to the mosque even before the Azhan. He never left any prayers and hence he did not have to make up for the missing prayers. And I do not know more than this that he would have been doing. Allaah says in Quran that He Loves those who Love Him. And Allah showed it through this incident that O’ Son Of Adam I accepted your love and did not let the insects to even touch your shroud. A lot of us pray but only a few OFFER prayers, and prepare themselves for it We all love Allaah SWT but a few of us show their love through their actions.”

Don’t let it ever be too late xoxo

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ADVICE || A reflection on 2016

As-Salaamu Alaikum
Peace Be Upon You

 I wasn’t intending to write this post, but I have on a whim. The final months of 2016 have left me totally deflated and deeply distressed. This is a very different post from the one I’ve written last year (h e r e). As motivational and enjoyable as it was to write that post, this year I don’t quite feel the same.

Whether it’s through my family, friends or my own actions, government actions and choices or even the state of the current mother earth – I am just feeling deeply overwhelmed. I don’t mean to be a negative nancy, but lately, I’ve been struggling to feel happy and content when all I see in media is my religion being totally defamed and people ignoring those in need (Alleppo: Syria and Rohingya: Burma – just to name a few). Where is humanity. Have we all become desensitised to what’s happening.
How can I scream about happiness and continue to stay motivated, when all I want to do is cry. Cry at the pain of all those suffering around the world. I don’t even know where to begin to help.

This year for me is all about being in touch with reality. Finding a way to help. Research where I can dedicate my time and efforts too. Find a way to reconnect to loved ones and Spend more time with loved ones. I want to make a positive impact going forward and be really conscientious of my actions.

I think it’s time we woke up from all these trends, fads, and crazy tags and focus on what really matters… otherwise 2017 will blitz past us once again. make it count. make it matter.
Stay blessed, happy, appreciative and humble.
Welcome 2017, I’m ready for you xoxo
tumblr_obwxmiahdi1rs9omco1_500tumblr_oi056bq1li1r4pkz0o1_1280“spread love wherever you go. let no-one ever come to you without leaving happier” – Mother Theresa
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As-Salaamu Alaikum
Peace Be Upon You

It’s my B I R T H D A Y today, another year has passed, and another year accomplished. I am 24. Thanks to the will of the Lord Almighty.
This will be a very reflective post, enjoy.
img_3836This year I’ve been fortunate enough to visit my friend in her home country, Lithuania, to spend my birthday here has been amazing so far. The hospitality, sweet treats and scenic routes are more than I could’ve imagined (upcoming posts sharing my travels will be shared soon).

I wanted to write a post to share how thankful I am for everything up until this point in my journey and for what I have left to experience. None of this would’ve been possible without my loved ones and most importantly, the Lord Almighty. I’m so thankful to be in a position where I can do what I like and travel wherever I like.

I’m at a stage in my life where I experience no boundaries and I’m learning to take no for an answer. Learning to become an independent individual and do things for me, this hasn’t come easily and one that takes a lot of patience and determination. Sometimes we have to sacrifice and hurt people in the short term to gain a better understanding and experience in the long term – this is what life is to me.

My journey through life has been quite the commotion, but in the short amount of time that I have experienced this world it’s definitely taught me a lot and showed me what’s worth valuing and giving up my time for.  Our life can become so robotic and in turn we can become so complacent. So it’s important to remember what matters and what the value of everything means to us.

My life goal is not just to increase my own personal wealth and happiness but to do the same for those around me. Learn to be humble and appreciate all aspects of life. Learn to share the happiness and wealth. In the current western world, all I see is compulsive, consumerist behaviour, one that needs to be broken down.  This isn’t a “new year new me post”, it’s a reminder to myself to express that I’m still growing, learning and evolving and to allow myself that time and opportunity to do so.

Cheers 24, lets see what this next year brings ❤

FYI, I’m currently in Lithuania and travelling to Iceland next week, so stay tuned. Until my next post, xoxo
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SUNDAY STORIES || New Story – Same old me…

As-Salaamu Alaikum
Peace Be Upon You

Hey guys, I wanted to share another “letter” from me. I think I’m going to do these reflective writings every Sunday, so bookmark this blog and get comfy.
Lately I’ve not been feeling myself, or doing anything for myself. Too busy working and living for others.

I’ve always been that friend to say “ALWAYS DO YOU” yet I don’t do me for myself. I don’t do anything for me or look out for me, or push myself as much as I push the next person to achieve better and want better for themselves. I’ve always been that pillar to that friend to always make them dependant on themselves and become that independent lady or lad. To always show my friends that they need to love themselves first before they can love others. They need to be there for themselves before helping others.

I firmly believe that you can’t do anything for others until you’re 100% there for yourself. I don’t agree with depending on others for anything. I’m a firm believer of earning everything for yourself. The satisfaction of accomplishing something for yourself is amazing, and not something that can be bought or earned by anyone just handing you a silver spoon.

I always have said that you need to create your own stability and over the last couple of months I got too “comfortable” and now I’m stuck in a rut! A rut that’s made me feel very uninspired with everything and life, to a point where I almost wanted to give up everything. Feeling stuck can be very disheartening, if not quite depressing.

However, I’m forcing myself to come out of that phase. I’ve written down all the things I enjoyed and reflected back on myself to see what were my happiest moments and what was the peak of my life (to-date) that I was enjoying. I have to admit, that enjoyment came over two years ago, and somehow in that moment since I’ve lost myself.

Living life and adulthood can really bring you down because of all the responsibilities involved. I’ve been so focused on trying to work hard and save up that I’m literally forgetting to live life and enjoy the moments. Especially with my family and friends. I became too preoccupied with work and became a hermit who lived at home and did nothing but stay there.

To be fair though, I am still a student. Working full time and balancing Uni can be tricky at the best of times. I’m learning to appreciate that I can’t expect too much from myself and everything will come in time.

I’m on a new journey now, a different mindset and wave length. One that involves the old me that lived life to the fullest and took adventures, took up new opportunities and just lived life for what Allah had to offer.
I welcome you to my journey and to follow me through these highs and lows. So stay tuned, follow and subscribe.

Let’s welcome back the old me, the fun me, the me that had a high self-esteem and was confident and brave to do anything.
Talk to yourself like you would to someone you loved
Heads up. It’s my birthday month next month: November! and I plan to post every single week. Fingers crossed I can do this and I hope to share some fun things with you also.

Until my next post, xoxo
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As-Salaamu Alaikum
Peace Be Upon You

Here we go again is what you are thinking, but I do apologise for my lack of absence.

Let me explain, my laptop broke whilst I was out in Bangladesh for a holiday and I haven’t had a chance to fix it or replace it until now. Now I am a proud owner of a MacBook Pro 13inch.. the newest edition, my previous one was a MacBook Pro 13inch from 2012, the one with the disk drive, the weight of that was immensely heavy compared to this one, highly recommend a MacBook Pro to all my creatives out there.

I have so much to share with you from my travels to Bangladesh and Amsterdam and various other beauty and lifestyle posts/ vlogs; which I will share with you shortly over the next coming weeks! However, please do bare with me as I am still working and studying and due to move houses soon #ExcitingTimes 🙂

Can’t wait to get back into the swing of things! Subscribe and follow to stay updated with what’s to come next.

*quick selfie to show you i’m still here xoxo*

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ADVICE || Leaving 2015 to Say Welcome to 2016

As-Salaamu Alaikum
Peace Be Upon You

As i write this letter to you, just note that this is as much of a guidance and reminder to me, as it is to you. I’m sharing this with you to help you kickstart 2016 and set out some goals so they can be achieved.

In 2016, you have got:

365 days, 365 chances

So make it count and make it meaningful, grab a journal and per page write down one thing you have accomplished within that day, and one thing you have been grateful for or even inspired by. Don’t let your days go idly by. Be productive, find inspiration and be grateful for all that you have and all that you don’t have. Appreciation for even the smallest of gestures will make the whole world a difference to your inner self and even someone else. Make changes not only for yourself, but perhaps for others too.
You don’t have to share your goals and objectives to the world, just work on them and accomplish them. Show them, don’t tell them.
Continue reading ADVICE || Leaving 2015 to Say Welcome to 2016